30 Day Lolita Challenge - Day Three: 10 things you hate in lolita

Hello again everybody!

Keiko here~

Today is day three of the year and of the 30 day lolita challenge! Today's topic is:

10 Things you hate in lolita

While lolita has a lot of wonderful aspects, there are some things that are not quite so wonderful. Here is a list of my top 10 things I don't like within the fashion:

1. The toxic parts of the community: As many other niches, Lolita has a dark side. There are unfortunately vocal ableist, racist, homophobic, sexist, classist, fat-shaming, etc… people within the fashion. This, coupled with venues for anonymous internet posting, has created areas of concentrated, festering negativity. It is unfortunate and also off-putting to see the amount of pettiness of some members of the community.
2. Scalpers: The amount of people that try to take advantage of the community is too high, man. I can understand if the laws of supply and demand affect a release over time, but selling a dress for twice the price right after its release—which points to having bought it expressly for the intent of ripping someone off- is just wrong! I have lost count of the times I have seen inflated prices right after AP drops a new print, and I can’t help but wonder what drives people to pay them with such sense of urgency.
3. Poor brand manufacturing: You’d expect that, when paying over $200usd for a dress, brands would have good quality control and customer service. I have been shocked to find several dresses with loose buttons that then fall off and cannot be replaced (I’m looking at you AATP!), hearing about misprints (AP just did this recently with the berets for Melty Ribbon Chocolate), and other things like that. As for customer service, the whole practice of blacklisting baffles me a bit, especially when you take into account some of the reasons why customers have been blacklisted by trigger-happy brands like BABY. I have a deathly fear of being black-listed by brands and feel like it should be harder to get in someone’s bad list—at least harder than complaining about getting a broken or defective product.
4. The reaction from other people: It’s really obnoxious to have people react in the same negative ways when you go out in public. I have come to expect people being annoying and therefore tend to be more confrontational in lolita than I would be otherwise. I can take the ‘little bo-peep’ comments only so many times.
5. The sizing: Sizing in lolita is neither generous nor accurate as a rule. It is especially nerve-wracking since you generally do not get to try things on before buying them and have to hope that the item is true to size.
6. The barrier between new and established lolitas: Entering this fashion is already intimidating, so having the barrier between new and experienced lolitas –an obstacle born from fear of being criticized and ostracized- is particularly troubling to me. There is an expectation that new lolitas are annoying and that experienced lolitas are snobbish, when in reality neither party is completely one or the other.
7. Distance from Comms: Initially I was a lone lolita, but I have had a couple of opportunities to attend out-of-state meetups and I must say that I really wish I lived closer to a community so I could hang out more.
8. Bad Lace: I hate poorly made, scratchy lace with a passion. Lolita has spoiled me so much I cannot stand it in lingerie, costumes, or normal clothes. After lots of practice, I have learned the difference and can see it sometimes even in pictures.
9. The difficulty incorporating it in everyday life: As much as I love lolita, I wish it was a more portable, practical fashion. Most of my pieces are dry-clean or hand-wash only, so I find it hard to find the incentive to wear them more often, as they can be more trouble than it’s worth for everyday occasions. I like to go larger than life most of the time with my coords, so that might be why.
10. Communal Closet Mentality: I have a love-hate relationship with this aspect of the fashion. While it is cool to feel a sense of community with other people in the fashion, sometimes people take it too far and try to police others’ actions when in lolita—especially when they affect the state of the main pieces worn. Yes, it kind of freaks me out to buy and wear a dress somebody has had sex in and the like, but I don’t think we should be policing the behavior of people who are not selling a piece. It is theirs, after all. It’s a line that’s hard to draw, I suppose.

Ahh, just thinking about it riles me up a little! I'm so relieved the good aspects outdo the bad, though. Is there anything that bothers you within lolita fashion? If you could change anything about it, what would it be?

Keiko out~